I’m doing something new. A little intimidating, honestly—but exciting. I’ve just started a new workout plan, inspired by Michael Matthews’s Bigger Leaner Stronger. That phrase—bigger, leaner, stronger—keeps echoing in my mind like a low drumbeat. I’ve been out of shape longer than I’d like to admit, and I think I just got tired of drifting—mentally, physically. This feels like the right time to reconnect with my body. Not just as a machine I want to change, but as part of the whole of who I am.
The thing is, I know myself well enough to say this: I can’t force it. Discipline by itself doesn’t last. It breaks down when I’m tired, or stressed, or distracted. I’ve tried the whole “push yourself” route before, and it always feels like trying to outrun myself. That doesn’t work. Not for long.
So this time, I’m trying something different. I’m letting it come from the Center.
That’s the shift, really. I don’t want to work out because I hate my body. I want to move because when I’m present, when I’m grounded in my real self—my capital-S Self—it feels like something I do, naturally. It flows from who I am. It’s not about pushing. It’s about aligning. I’m not chasing a better version of me. I’m showing up as who I already am, more fully.
Progressive overload is one of the big ideas in Matthews’s program. You increase the challenge little by little—add weight, build capacity. That resonates with me spiritually too. That life itself is always inviting us to grow, but never in ways we can’t handle if we’re present. I’m starting. Machines, dumbbells, slower movements. Controlled. Conscious. Solo. Safe.
Then there’s the reps. Matthews recommends a lower rep range—4 to 6 per set. That’s different for me. I’m used to high-rep, low-weight comfort zones. But I haven’t been seeing the kind of muscle or strength gains I want from that approach. So I’m open to something new. I’m not trying to prove anything. I’m trying to listen. To be curious. To see what happens when I allow more intensity to enter the space.
And here’s the deeper truth I’m waking up to: the gym, the meal prep, the tracking—it all works best when it’s not a battle between my higher self and my old patterns. If I’m doing this just to punish or prove something, I’ll burn out. But when I expand my consciousness beyond those self-limiting stories—“you’re lazy,” “you’re too old,” “you’re not an athlete”—something shifts. I feel pulled to act, not pushed. Going to the gym becomes less of a chore and more of an expression. It’s what I do when I’m being myself.
So yeah—I’m hitting reset. Not a new me. A truer me. No crash diet, no sprint to a six-pack. Just this: showing up for my body as if it were sacred. Because it is. This is how I pray right now—with reps and sweat and protein shakes and sore muscles. This is how I remember who I am. Bigger. Leaner. Stronger. Whole.
